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 Tuesday, March 27, 2007 |
| The Value in Relationships |
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Next week my wife and I are taking a trip overseas. Just the two of us. We are leaving the kids with the nanny for 1 full week. Now mind you, both me and my wife are a little edgy, this being the first time we will be parted from our new son and daughter. Well, the nanny has decided to capitalize on the close date of our non-refundable flight. She is asking for more money than we had originally negotiated with her.
What she has effectively done is to cash in on the value of the relationship we have built with her. My wife, after being very upset, finally complied with her demands, but the relationship is clearly hurt.
From the nannies point of view this also makes no sense. We have been a good steady source of income for her. She may not thinking with a clear head. The effect was that it has us planning and taking actions around her.
When a relationship first starts out you may not have much experience to draw upon to understand the values and desires of the other party. Thus it is foolish and wasteful to trust the other party at this point as you have no idea if their idea of the relationship is aligned with yours. During this stage of the relationship there are two routes you can take.
The first is to clearly spell out in writing all agreements and expectations of both parties. The second route is to have minimal expectations. As few expectations as you can tolerate if the other party breaks the trust.
 In my opinion, before any relationship can mature beyond that point and develop trust, both parties must understand the value of the long term relationship as something beyond a short term benefit. Trust requires time to demonstrate and build.
The most valuable nanny to me would be one that we trusted so much that we could give her a credit card and say "here, if you see something that can help with the child care, go buy it." There would be no doubt we would feel someone like that would have a value to us more than any salary we could possibly pay and would be an irreplaceable employee.
Perhaps the best thing both parties should do at the start of a new relationship is try to demonstrate an understanding of this maturity. Next time you are talking to a client, customer, or are on a job interview try telling them this "I have 25 years of coming into work every day and giving an honest days work. 25 years of having human values and living to them. 25 years of trust-worthiness and integrity. 25 years of responding to change around me, not being afraid of it, and working hard to learn new things to stay valuable to my employer. I always try to build agreement. I bring 25 years of being able to give my best on each and every day. 25 years of living up to my agreements."
Let me know how that turns out. |
admin4 at 6:22 AM |
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